


Morphine Doesn't Solve Anything

by forever_doodling_tardises



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: I NEARLY DIED. (not) - Video, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-07-07
Packaged: 2018-02-07 22:19:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1915968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forever_doodling_tardises/pseuds/forever_doodling_tardises
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during Dan's hospital visit, (not quite) as recounted in the video "I NEARLY DIED. (not)" by danisnotonfire. Phil is a bit worried and Dan is defying the laws of morphine intake (or something like that) by forming coherent thoughts. Phil POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Morphine Doesn't Solve Anything

Stupid Dan. Stupid Dan and his stupid reaction-of-a-sloth circulatory system. I'm sitting in a chair next to the hospital bed of Dan Howell, who has recently been administered the largest dose of morphine they could legally give him. Needless to say, he's not exactly in a conversational state. I'm talking to him anyway, even though he probably can't hear me in any recognizable way. "Hey there Dan," I start, "how are you feeling?" He responds by crossing and uncrossing his eyes. I try again. "I missed you. When you were in surgery and all. I took a picture when you got out, look." I pull out my phone and show him the photo I took when he was asleep, just out of surgery. "The internet'll be glad we documented this, right?" I half-joke.  
I sigh, met with nothing except a faint twitch of the head from Dan. "I was worried about you. When you got sick, when you were in the hospital...I know, I know, ten minutes in surgery and you were fine, but I just..." I'm struggling to put this into words. I don't know what I want to say, but whatever it is, now probably isn't the best time to say it. I pause to collect my thoughts, and in that small gap, I hear something resembling the sound of my name coming from Dan's hospital bed. I turn around, surprised. "How are you able to speak? Is it wearing off already? Well, I can't say I'm not happy about that, but--"  
"Love y'."  
"Hm?" I'm cut short by more noises from Dan. I can't have heard right. But there it is again, clearer this time. "Love you." Still not quite fully-formed words exactly, and impossible to adequately portray through writing, but there's no mistaking it.  
"Yeah," I respond shakily, "love you too."  
"Love you," Dan repeats with increasing urgency, flopping his left arm about half-heartedly.  
"Dan...You're drugged, I can't-- You're not going to remember any of this."  
"Love you," he says one last time, then slumps forward, passed-out-asleep. 

***

The next day, Dan's pretty much good as new. The morphine has finally worn off, and the pain has mostly dissipated. The minute we get out the door of the A&E in Manchester, he half-tackles me in an approximation of a hug, still a bit weak from surgery. I hug back carefully, not wanting to hurt him. "Scared me a bit," I mumble, but I don't say anything else. I can't anyway, because before I can, my lips are met with Dan's and the world softens and blurs. I understand. This is what I had wanted to say back at A&E, wrapped up in a touch of the lips, conveyed flawlessly by a tongue across my lower lip. Before he gets any further, however, I pull away. The shocked expression on my face must be what's causing the uncertainty on his, so I quickly start grinning. "That was amazing. I want to do that again. A lot of times. But I have to ask - do you remember the conversation we had when you were on all that morphine?"  
Dan just shrugs. "I remember that I love you," he says. He draws me closer, if that's possible at this point, and whispers, "I love you, Phil."  
I love you. Three simple words, yet they can convey any combination of a plethora of meanings. We both seem to know what he means this time, though. I respond, perhaps sounding a little more excited than I meant to - because here it is! I've found what I needed and still need to say, trapped in a kiss and yet so very free that it floats in the very air around our two faces! I respond, "I love you too, Dan."


End file.
